I find myself getting irritated a lot with Lo and I don't mean to. She's so amazing, and so full of energy and questions and questions and questions....and did I mention questions? And she's getting so demanding and wanting everything now now now now now, and I feel bad when I yell. I don't like scream, but I do raise my voice and tell her to calm down and stop demanding and I don't know what else to do bc timeouts don't do squat, counting to three only works on occasion... I'm not gonna spank her. She's just very much my child. She's stubborn and hyper and wild just like me and I know it, and I have no idea how mom didn't lone her ind with me sometimes. My mother is a strong woman, LOL. I just love her so much and I want so badly to do right by her and I hate when I feel even the slightest irritation towards her bc I feel like, who am I to get irritated with this beautiful, curious, creative, and happy little girl? Ya know?
Anyways other than that I'm ok. Still contemplating another baby. I think Nick's decided we aren't gonna have one, but maybe he wants one but thinks I don't and is scared to say he does. Maybe I really want one and am afraid to voice it. Maybe I'm afraid that if I'm getting irritated at one 3 year old, maybe I'm afraid I won't be able to handle a kid and a baby at one time. But millions of mothers do it every day, so I know I could, but still... it's a worry.
