the new normal...

so, i'm at work and a coworker comes in and says, "man, i was at my relative's house the other day and he wanted to show me this tv show, and the show that was on before it was some damn show about some fucking gay guys kissing or some shit. that's just not right. they shouldn't show that shit. you have to shield your kids from that wrong shit."
and i was kind of taken aback by this narrow mindedness, and yet, i should have expected it from him. so i forgave him his ignorance and said, "how is it wrong?" and of course, the obvious response was, "well it's just wrong! don't show that shit when kids can watch it!" and i said, "i still don't see what's wrong with it. it shows a loving relationship."
at this point, he could see i did not share his views and he changed the subject and we went about our merry ways.
but it got me thinking... what's wrong with it? i mean, really? what do people see on the show (the new normal, in case you hadn't guessed) that is so "wrong"? it depicts a LOVING, FUNCTIONAL relationship (albeit a bit more comedic than most normal relationships) between two people who just happen to be men. i think it's wonderful. it's on par with the first interracial relationship being shown on tv. it's a milestone - not having a gay man be the comedic relief or the "crazy gay friend" of the main character on the show - but instead having the gay men be the main characters and having the audience root for and cheer for them - showing that gay is just as NORMAL as any straight relationship.
and i still don't see why it's wrong and who fills peoples head with this nonsense.
lola will sometimes have her girl barbie's kiss, and say "momma look, they're kissing" my response is always, "that's ok, if they want to kiss they can." she's said to me, "i wish i could have a girlfriend" - of course, she's meaning a friend that's a girl b/c she's 3 and doesn't understand the connotations of the word "girlfriend", but my response is always, "one day you can if you want baby" - i just want to make sure she grows up to know that it's ok to be who you are and love who you love - just be HAPPY.
so would i shield her from watching the new normal? hell no. she doesn't give a shit about that show right now. she's 3. but if she's in the room and the two main MALE characters kiss, i don't even begin to hide her eyes. and if ignorance of others has rubbed off on her and she reacts as if it's weird, "momma look! ewww! they're kissing, that's yucky" my response is always the same "no baby, they love each other and it's ok. there's NOTHING wrong with that. it's totally normal."

i'm having a serious depression right now. i don't know why, i'm just very sad. i don't want to smile, i don't want to laugh, i don't want anyone to try to cheer me up, i just want to sit here with this unhappy look on my face, on the verge of tears and just be unhappy. i don't enjoy this. i can't explain it. i'm on my period, but that can't be it... can it? i've not have hormonal swings this severe since pregnancy, but even then i wasn't depressed. i'm not pregnant, i've still got my iud, so then if it were hormonal, it would be attributed to my period - which that doesn't make sense b/c even during puberty i didn't get like this because of my period. maybe it's just circumstances of the past few days. maybe the constant being broke and having to borrow money is doing it. that would make sense. but then i'd be able to pinpoint the unhappiness and know for a fact that THIS or THAT were the reason.
fuck it.
i don't know.
i don't care.
i'm depressed and wholly unhappy.
hoping it'll go away soon.
i do not like this.