i miss my dogs. i've never not had a dog. for as long as i can remember, i've had a little furry creature following me around. i want another one. i miss my girls. i miss the wet kisses, i miss the barking, i miss the happy feet and the wagging tails. the family doesn't feel complete without a bundle of fur to add to it. i know that right now is not the time to bring a new animal into the mix. we're redoing our kitchen and the whole house is a mess. but when it's done, maybe around christmas... i'm gonna talk to nick. i want one. i need a dog in my life. i need furry lovins. i miss my dogs.

Hope for the future...

I’ve always been vocal about my support of the LGBT community and that they need to be treated just like everyone else b/c there’s nothing wrong with them. But I think that having Lola has made me even moreso vocal and outraged by the injustice – b/c I want to make sure she grows up to be accepting and I want to make sure that as she grows and learns who she is as a person, that she’ll know that I’ll accept her no matter what. She can be straight, gay, bi, hell she could decide one day she wants a penis and to be called Mort and I’m still gonna love her (granted, if she is transgender, I will sorely miss my little girl and have a hard time grasping her having a penis that I didn’t grow in my uterus when I grew her, but I’ll get used to it). I just hope and pray that by the time she finds herself, that the world is as accepting of her as I hope it will be.
I don’t understand how anyone, especially a parent, could ever have hostility towards the gay community or think that they shouldn’t have the same rights as everyone else – b/c once you’re a parent, you can’t MAKE your child be something he/she isn’t. If your child discovered he/she was gay, would you actually disown him/her? Could you live your life not having that child in it? Would you really think it was OK to not let your child legally marry the person they love? Not be able to be by the side of the person they love if that person were in the hospital? Not have the same rights that you, as a heterosexual human has? If so, I don’t think you should be a parent. I think you’re a sad, sad excuse for a human.
Defending marriage by saying it’s only for a man and a woman, is actually putting it down. Marriage should be about love and creating a lifelong partnership between those 2 people. Allowing people that love each other to marry, to share that bond, to spend their lives together, to grow old together, to be happy – THAT is defending marriage. The gender shouldn’t have a damned thing to do with it.
Every time I see another state legalize gay marriage, I’m so happy about it. It brings me hope for the future.
Every time I see one of those “it gets better” ad’s – it fills me with hope as well, that maybe, for my child, and for all the children out there – that when they find who they are, that it will already be better – and they won’t have to wait for it to GET better.

it's weird when you know someone that dies that's close to your age. i knew him, not that well, but every time i met him, and every time he came over he was always nice, and funny, and just seemed to me to be an all around good guy.
nick was actually friends with him, and one of nick's friends was best friends with him.
to think that you know someone that you'll never again talk to or see. to know that this someone was only 5-6 years older than you.
to look at my life and say, i have a husband, a daughter, friends and family that love me - and so did he (not the husband or daughter, but you know what i mean), and it could all just go away at any moment. he was someone's little boy, he was someone's best friend, he was someone's something - and now he's gone. in an instant, just gone.
and to think that he was so young, and we don't know why. from what little i knew of him, i do not think suicide is the answer. he seemed too put together, and not depressed or anything. i realize people can hide things like that very well, but that's just not what i think. the police and the coroner will figure it out. i'm hoping that no matter what, that it was peaceful. that he went to sleep and just didn't wake up. no pain, just peace.
i know that it's not real comfort to people that knew him - but i know that his energy is now out there, floating around. he's still a part of us all, he's still buzzing around the people he knew, the people he loved, the people that loved him. he's still giving them his love and energy to help their lives grow. he's still there. i know that for the people that loved him and knew him, they want him there with them physically. they want to hear his voice and feel his embrace or handshake. and that will never come back and that's sad. but he's still there.
it's just crazy to think that he's just gone, and it's sad to think of the devastation left by the life of one person being taken. one person that people loved. but he's still there.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.