Why do people assume you're an asshole?

Why do some people just act like you're a shitty person sometimes? Ok, so since Nick and I have decided we're keeping the dogs and we're gonna do everything we can to get them healthy and happy, I've had to tell the people that offered to take Lulu that we don't need 'em to. I told 'em mom is gonna take them, just b/c I didn't want to say, "Oh everything is magically ok now, I'm a dumbass and I take it back that I want to put my dogs up for adoption!!" So anyways, one person sent me an email that said,

"My suggestion is to try your best to keep your dogs. No one wants older dogs. I have worked with rescue for 25 years and it is getting harder and harder even to place puppies and purebred dogs. The shelters and foster homes are full. If you take your dogs to a shelter they will be put to sleep. All your dogs ask of you is someone to love them. Maybe you will be able to get a job soon and things will look up. I know that your child must come first, but two dogs don't eat much. I have 7 and they eat much less than me. Please reconsider and keep your dogs. They love you unconditionally."

So, first off, she makes me feel real awesome by saying, "everything is full and shelters will kill your dogs." And then she goes on to say, "yea your kid is important, but dog food isn't expensive, so keep them b/c they love you."

NEVER did I say, "we can't buy dog food, we have to give the dogs away." I said that their medical expenses makes it difficult on us to feed the whole house. I just don't know why some people don't read the entire message before just thinking, "oh well you're a shit, let me remind you of what kind of a shit you are."

So I responded, nicely, with the bullshit about mom taking them, but also reiterating the reasoning behind our original serious consideration into letting someone else take them:

"Thank you. Luckily I won’t have to give them away anymore b/c my mother has offered to take them until we can get on our feet. The issue wasn’t just the food, it has been the fact that we can’t get their yearly shots (they’re 6 months overdue), their flea meds (they’ve been out for 8 months now), their heartworm meds (also out for 8 months), or their medication for their skin conditions (which they haven’t had in around 6 months). Their skin meds alone run about $100 a month and on unemployment that paired with everything else just wasn’t going to be feasible. Loving them is wonderful, but I felt like risking their health was cruel. But like I said, my mother has finally agreed to watch them until we get back on our feet, so we’re good. Thanks for caring and I appreciate the advice."

The part I said about "risking their health" being "cruel" is the honest to god truth! I can love them all effing day long - but if I can't afford to keep them healthy, then THAT makes me a shit - NOT trying to place them in a home that can afford to keep them healthy... AND please note that in that response I sent that I did not mention Maya's thyroid condition, for which she has to have $40 medication every month as well, NOR DID I MENTION the fact that she has to go to the vet every month for blood work until we get the thyroid medication dosage correct, and that means that on top of the $40 medication there's a $50 vet visit fee PLUS the $100 blood work fee EVERY MONTH until we get the dosage right, add THAT to the $100 a month for Maya AND Lulu's skin issues and that's pretty damn expensive - so NO, we were not jumping the gun in thinking seriously about putting them up for adoption.

But like I said, we're not going to do it. We just can't. We'll address Maya's thyroid as we can, she'll be fine, she'll just be fat until we can work it out. As for their skin, we'll take them to the vet one at a time as we get the money and we'll do what we can for their skin condition. We may skip their shots, since they're inside dogs, and just do flea and heartworm meds. We'll make due. But that email just rubbed me the wrong way.

thinking it thru...

Nick and I are trying to find a home for Lulu and Maya... so we thought.
I sent out feeler messages to some pet rescues and the SPCA 2 days ago, and someone already says they’ll take Lulu. I wasn’t expecting that. Honestly, I thought that I’d send the message and that no one would ever even respond. I can’t imagine actually not having either of them. I want to fight and make it so we can keep them. I want to take every penny we get and put it towards them.
They need medicine. They need flea stuff and heartworm stuff and their yearly shots. They need to be groomed.
They’re old, we’ve had them forever. It’s fine to rationalize about how it’d be best to get rid of them, to let someone else keep them happy for their last years… but then you think “NO! I SHOULD MAKE THEM HAPPY!!”
Why can’t I do it? Money? Can we work something out? I don’t know. I can’t say yes. I can’t let someone take Lulu this weekend. It’s so fast. I know it’s stupid, but I really didn’t think anyone would offer to help – and besides, I knew that if someone DID offer, that it’d be for Lulu and not Maya. No one ever wants to help out a big dog :(. I can’t see myself without her. Without either of them. It’s very depressing. They’re my dogs.
We have to come up with a way to keep them. We just do. We’re taking them to the groomers on Saturday. Week after next, we’ll take Lulu to the vet and hopefully she’ll just need some meds and that’s it. I think 2 weeks after that we can take Maya. Then maybe a couple weeks later we can get their shots.
I really don’t know. I know the logical thing to do is let someone take them, but that’s not what my heart or even my head says to do. Everything says keep them and make it work.
Ok that’s what we’ll do.
They may stink, but Nick can bathe them every other day. We’ll budget to get them groomed once a month if need be. I just really don’t want to lose them. I love them.

tired... tired... tired...

it's been so busy at work that i can barely think straight. things seem to be going well, but it's definitely crazy right now.
i've been really moody lately. i think i'm really tired and it's messing with me.
lulu's got some big huge knot on her back and she's whining alot. i feel so bad for her. i think (hope) that next friday we can afford to take her to the vet. the only problem with that is if we have to buy medication that we have to get on a monthly basis, we may not be able to afford it. so we'll see. not to be all doom and gloom or anything.
took lo to the doctor for her 15 month check up, she's fine. has a virus AGAIN. doc said if we could take her out of daycare for a couple months to let her "dry out" that it would be good for her, but he knows not everyone can do that and it's ok if we can't/don't - but mom wanted to watch her, so mom's watching her at her house now. has been for about a week. i know lo misses the kids from linda's, but she's having so much fun with mom too and mom just loves it so much. it gives her something to get up for in the morning and that's cool. it's a bit more of a drive, but not enough to be bad or anything.
i'm hating my body... again... that's nothing new. it comes and goes. normally it's at the back of my head, but for no reason whatsoever i'm really sad and depressed today and hate my body and wish i weren't so effing fat - but it's my fault. i bitch and moan, but i'm the only one that can do anything about it, i know it, and yet i still reach for the effing twinkies. oh well, whatever.
lola's wonderful. she'll call me "ma" every once in a while and on occasion "mama" but she calls nick "dada" and mom "nana" and alan "gpaw". why is it that the one person that wants to hear it most gets to hear it last? sucks.
well. s'all i know. i might work a bit tomorrow - we're moving product from one warehouse to the other, and we have to keep the inventory in check. i freaking HATE that i think about this sh*t when i'm not at work. i HATE it. rawr.