I said once before that while I was kinda sad that Lo cried when I dropped her off at daycare, that deep down it made me feel good b/c it meant she loves me. Well, she wasn’t really crying, she was kinda crying – you know, the “I’m thinking about crying so I’m gonna start making the noise now in the hopes you’ll pick me back up” cry. That cry was ok. That cry made me secretly feel good b/c of the baby love directed my way.
This morning she full on cried. She kicked the instant Linda came near her (normally she leans forward and kisses and hugs her and wants her to hold her), and she was full on snotting and crying and reaching for me when I left. That did NOT make me feel good at all. That made me want to go back inside, get her, and just bring her precious little butt to work with me. That was terrible. That was NOT OK. I hate that cry.
I pray that one day I can quit work and stay home with her. I don’t have to win the lottery or anything like that, I just hope and pray that one day Nick will make enough money that we could survive on just his paycheck (b/c he wants me to be a stay at home mom too). And he doesn’t have to make millions either, just enough to pay our bills and stuff. Unfortunately, we have to have both paychecks to live as broke as we live right now – so me not working won’t happen anytime soon (if ever). It’s sad.
I hope that tomorrow she doesn’t cry like that again. I miss my baby.
2 comments:
I know just how you feel. It's heartbreaking when your baby cries and reaches for you and then you have to turn around and leave. If experience has taught me anything, its that these moments are much harder on us than our babies. They usually stop crying within a few minutes and it teaches them to trust other people and you! They see at the end of the day mommy always comes back. I love you and I'll be praying for you!
It's probably because she hasn't been feeling well. You'll feel more reassured the next time you drop her off and she's actually feeling good and seems fine again. At this age, they can be pretty unpredictable as far as separation anxiety goes..one day they're fine, and the next they are freaking out like you shot them in the leg! One day, it will break your heart when you go to leave and she doesn't even notice....motherhood pulls at the heartstrings like nothing else on Earth.
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