10 days of you - 10 secrets

ok, so i stole this from liz, looks fun. i'll have to actually try to remember to update every day, LOL!!!

so, first off - 10 secrets.
secrets are secrets, that sucks. i'll do it tho.

1) i don't really WANT to quit smoking, but i know i need to for lola and for my health, so i'm going to.

2) it's not actually a "secret" but not too many people know - so i'll use it -- the entire underside of my house is covered in mold. we just found out. insurance is coming out tomorrow. i'm terrified they're gonna say it's not covered and we won't be able to afford to fix it.

3) my life, while happy, is full of stress and drama that's unneeded, but unavoidable.

4) i think i should've been born a chinese girl. don't ask me why, i don't know, i just think i should've - as weird as that sounds.

5) even tho i'm telling "secrets" i'm still completely editing myself - that's a secret, isn't it?

6) sometimes i'll fart (quietly) and blame it on lola (can only do that with silent ones, loud ones it's obvious if it came outta my ass).

7) the only reason i want to stay in memphis is b/c of momma. if she weren't here, i'd grab nick and lola and move away. my friends would still talk to me and stuff on the phone and emails - so we'd be good.

8) i want to quit my job and go to culinary school, but even if i were able to get financial aid to do that, it would be stupid, b/c i don't want to be a professional chef. i just want to know how to do all that so i can make awesome food at home. maybe that's why i watch the food network like a fiend.

9) i still feel completely responsible for the loss of my dogs and wish i could take it back every day. i look at their pictures every day. i also look at animals on petfinder an daydream about getting another dog, but then i feel guilty for looking at another dog when it was just a few months ago that we lost our girls.

10) there's one person, that when she sends an email and i see her folder light up with an unread email in my inbox, my stomach immediately ties up in knots with anxiety. things shouldn't be that way. can't say who she is tho.